Everlasting Beauty

Photo taken by Jane Palma using Samsung Galaxy Grand Prime (Rear Cam, Auto)

If life ends in iniquity,

then I'm just as good as a flower that withered and lost its beauty.

But somehow, purposely,

You came and rescued me.

By true repentance You set me free,

By Your grace and love You covered me,

And gave me a life of victory.

What is life without You, Oh Lord?

That, I don't want to see.

For my life is Yours, forever it will be,

Forever to behold an everlasting beauty.

- Jane Palma | 4.20.15

Unsent Letter

April 4, 2014


To the person I want to meet at that bridge:

A friend once told me, "But like what you've said about crossing the bridge when we get there, we'll definitely get there. The more we press on to be our better selves, the more we see the bridge drawing before our eyes."

How true it is, he nailed it. We still don't know what God has prepared for us. But one thing is for sure, it is the best! It's not necessary for us to know that at the moment, but it's very important that we put our trust and hope in Him.

I admit, you always occupy my thoughts. There are times that I want to account everything that is of you but I guess the purpose is just null and void. I am not yet ready in this so called "risky investment" because we can't tell if it's worth the investment. For now, let's continue to invest ourselves and give our all to God. He holds our future. He knows. So, we must listen.

I always say, let's cross the bridge when we get there.

Am I going to meet you at that bridge?

Will we meet at that bridge?

We don't know.

Funny it is, now that I'm finding myself writing about this.

Many days will pass -- happy situations, trials, hardships and challenges are about to come in our separate ways -- to mold us, shape us, break us, and to make us better versions of ourselves. Neither I nor you know what awaits us at that bridge.

This season, is our preparation, to become that right person.

But again, one thing's for sure, we'll definitely get there.

-Jane

Sulat sa Hangin

Sa mga oras na ito, alam mo kayang naiisip kita? Kung minsan ba, eh naiisip mong iniisip kita?


Malalim na naman ang gabi. Sa saliw ng mga tugtugin sa radyo ngayon, lalo akong dinuduyan pabalik sa panahong...

NARIYAN KA PA.

Nung panahong una tayong nagkakilala, hindi ko na maalala kung sino ang unang nakipag-usap sa ating dalawa. Simpleng bati at ngiti lang ang binigay natin noon sa isa't-isa. Para sa akin, noon, ikaw ay pangkaraniwan lamang. Walang dating at katulad lang ng marami.

Nakalimutan ko na rin kung paano tayo naging malapit sa isa't-isa.

Siguro, dahil na rin sa mga kaibigan natin.

Pero ang hindi ko malilimutan, ay ang kakaiba sa pagiging malapit natin.


Masasabi kong ito ay espesyal.
Kung ano man ang mayroon sa atin noon, ay WALANG MAY NAKAKAALAM NA ESPESYAL.


Hindi ko alam kung sino o ano ka para sa'kin. Hindi ko rin alam kung matatawag ba kitang kaibigan. Dahil sa kabila ng pagiging malapit natin, ay para ka pa ring isang estranghero, patuloy na nagmamatyag sa akin. Hindi man malinaw sa akin kung bakit mo ito ginawa, alam ko na may magandang dahilan. Hindi mo lang sinabi.

Nung mga panahong 'yon, hindi ka na katulad ng marami. Iba ka. Ibang-iba.

Hindi ko lang sinabi.

Nariyan ka,

nag-aalala, nagpapasaya, nagpapahalaga. Hinintay kong sabihin mo ang dahilan. Hindi mo naman sinabi.

Dahil sa mga ginawa mo, hindi ka nabigong iparamdam sa akin na.. MAHALAGA AKO...

SA'YO.

Tama bang naramdaman ko 'yun?

Sana naging malinaw sa'kin ang lahat.

Sana naging malinaw ang dahilan ng pagdating mo, maging ng pag-alis mo.. biglaang pag-alis mo. Kase, hindi ko inasahan 'to. Nakampante kasi akong hindi ka aalis, umasang lagi ka lang nandyan. Kung ano man ang dahilan, hindi ko na inalam mula sa'yo. Maaari ngang.. nagsawa ka, napagod.

Iba ka, pero pinakita ko sa'yong katulad ka lang nila.

Masaya ako, ngunit hindi ko man lang nasabi ito sa'yo.

Mahalaga ka, sana naiparamdam ko.

Nanatili akong tikom ang bibig; pigil sa mga salitang makakapagsabi ng tunay kong nararamdaman, dahil natakot ako. Natakot masaktan gaya ng iba. Naging duwag. Mahina. 

Kaya ngayon, pinapaniwala ko ang sarili kong ayos lang naman ang lahat. Ako ang nagkamali. Ako ang hindi nagbigay.

Mayroon naman kasing tamang daan na binigay ang Diyos ngunit tayo ay lumihis at sinunod ang mga gusto natin. Sumusunod lang naman ang buhay sa mga kilos natin eh. Bawat galaw at salita natin ay may kaakibat na resulta. Pangit man o maganda, depende sa kung ano ang ibinigay natin.

Kung ginawa ko kaya ang nararapat, nandyan ka pa?

Kung alam mo lang siguro, maaaring mas masaya pa tayo. 

Pero hindi dito nagtatapos ang lahat. Pwedeng magkita ulit tayo o may makilala tayong para sa atin. Kung ano man doon, sana matutunan na nating panindigan at ipaglaban. (haha.)

"A million times or more I thought about you

The years, the tears, the laughter, things we used to do

Are memories that warm me like a sunny day

You touched my life in such a special way

Old friend
It’s so nice to feel you hold me again
No, it doesn’t matter where you have been
My heart welcomes you back home again.."

A Daughter Once Dreamed Her Father Was Talking To Her

google

"I'm sorry, I'm not there,

To do such things for you,

as your father.

Haven't done those duties

that should be done up to now.

How stupid am I?

For I have left you,

without saying goodbye."

"Don't worry my father,

 I have already accepted. That since the day I was born, I don't have someone like you, someone as my own, to call Daddy or Papa. It's sad, but what am I gonna do? Who should be sorry for himself, for we don't exist in each others' world. I don't know the real story, but I don't wanna hear anymore. I don't know where you are now, But I don't wanna search for you anymore. I didn't even see your face. Are we alike? For even a single picture, there's none. My father, are you still alive? Do you remember me? Please, do remember me."

"I am sorry, I'm not there,

to be at your side

to be your loving father,

responsible and supportive,

thoughtful and caring.

You just don't know but

I also wonder who you are.

I wanna know and hear a lot about you.

Don't worry, I'm okay.

I'm here, just here, always here.

And I do,

I remember you."

"Well, thanks my father. I'm also okay, as my world keeps revolving without you. Where every time the subject is you, I always try to deny that I'm hurt. But what you don't know is the opposite. I'm hurt. I'm incomplete. I do feel bad, yes. And I want to cry, just like now, because you're not here, and I don't have you."

"I am sorry, I'm not there,

but don't get too emotional.

Life is really unfair,

so we must deal with it.

I know you're hurt,

I can feel the pain.

I am sorry, I'm really sorry.

Please hear me sayin',

I love you."

"The hardest part is facing this reality, that no matter what, we won't see each other. For honestly speaking, I don't wanna find a way-- a way for us to meet, a way which will lead me back to you.
 I can't say I missed you, because we haven't met. Instead, hear me sayin' too, I love you. And you will always be a part of me, a special piece of me."

"Though there's no existence between the two of us,

I'll carry you through my heart."

"I accept your apology.

 I know, everything has its reason.

 And this is all His will.

 As I'm always saying,

 it just so happened that you're not here,

 but God gave me different people of my life, showered me with love,

 for me to be strong and contented."